For years, I have felt guilty for living my dream.
I never wanted a career. I loved university because I loved studying and not because it was a stepping stone to something else. All I wanted was to learn about things I love, get married, have babies, and be a homemaker.
By God’s kindness, I have been living that dream for eleven years. I am so thankful and frequently feel full of joy, praise, and humility that He would have this plan for me. Yet, like I said, I have often felt guilty for being able to.
You see, often our dear husband’s don’t get to live their own dreams.
If your husband is like mine, he is a man of integrity and takes his role of provider very seriously. He works hard, believes deeply in duty, and gets up every morning – even when his body screams for more sleep – and goes to work.
He enjoys his job. He’s worked hard to get where he is. But it isn’t his dream.
In the last year, the Lord has brought us to a point where I have been able to ask him, “Honey, if you could do what you really wanted to do, and not worry about duty for just a little while (because life isn’t always about duty), what would you do?”
And he replied, “Some dedicated time to study the Bible.”
“Alright,” I said, “Then let’s do it.”
Of course, it took some convincing and my praying for him earnestly, but slowly God has opened doors that we have been knocking on. Financially it will be difficult, but manageable. So, our house is going on the market in just over a month, and we will be moving to another city for three years.
It is very exciting! And, above all else, I am so excited that my husband has the opportunity to pursue his own dream. Even though it requires sacrifices, I am so willing to sacrifice all that I can so that he can do that. He has, after all, sacrificed so much for me as I have stayed home with the children and, now, homeschool them.
I really believe, if it is possible, that wives should encourage their husbands to pursue things that they are passionate about – whether careers, interests, or hobbies. We only have one life and, just because they have a heavy responsibility, that doesn’t mean they don’t have desires for their life.
Of course, there are seasons where this is just not possible. We are eleven years married now, and this really is the best time. But even giving our husbands an evening or afternoon off a week so they can do something that is them is loving and a blessing to them.
I have seen a mentality around that, because the mother is with her children all the time, then she deserves ‘time out’ more than her husband (who gets time away from the children everyday). But I believe that most husband’s have far more pressure and responsibility than a mother. This is not to say that a mother shouldn’t get time to herself (I’m writing this in bed during my Sunday afternoon rest time). Mother Culture is vital. But, let us not listen to the world. Our husband’s need rest and their own personal vitalisation.